


Bat-Signal of the Doctor

by pommedeplume



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Doctor Who, Torchwood
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Clothing Kink, Crack, Crack Crossover, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Fetish Clothing, Humor, I don't know how to tag this, Jack Harkness has a Batman fetish, Jack is still sad about Ianto, Large Cock, M/M, Oral Sex, Shameless Smut, Time Travel, Tongue-in-cheek, Utility Belt Lube, this is exactly what you think it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 13:18:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7575433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pommedeplume/pseuds/pommedeplume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor accidentally takes Batman to 22nd Century Paris where Batman meets attractive stranger, Jack Harkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bat-Signal of the Doctor

Two men ran down an alley, desperately clutching large bags of cash. They were going to get away with this robbery. Soon they were be in hiding and _he_ wouldn't be able to find them. Ever since he had shown up in Gotham things had never been the same. How was a crook supposed to earn a living?

Faster and faster they ran knowing a safe house wasn't far. One more block and they would be free. But then he was there, cloaked in shadow. Slowly, he stepped into the light.

One of the men shouted in shock and they both turned to run the other way but a lasso quickly wrapped around their ankles, knocking them over onto the ground, both losing their grip on the bags of cash. They squirmed, desperate to be free but it was no use. One man rolled over and looked up into the cowled face of the Batman, every bit as haunting as he had feared.

"Mercy!" the man called out but was quickly silenced by a punch that knocked him out.

"This city doesn't need you Batman! Things used to be perfect here!" the other man snarled and Batman silenced him as well.

* * *

Batman made sure the two robbers were tied up and secure so the police would have no further trouble with them once they arrived. He was disappointed; they had barely taken any effort. This was getting to be too easy. Since getting The Joker safely locked up in Arkham Asylum things had settled down a bit in Gotham. But he knew it was only a matter of time before someone else showed up to wreak havoc on the city.

As the police showed up, Batman walked down the alley, away from the noise of the sirens and voices. He heard a voice call out, "Batman!" but he ignored it. I was just Commissioner Gordon, probably wanting to thank him. Batman didn't need anyone's thanks.

Just then Batman heard a mysterious whirring sound and watched as a little further down the alley a blue box that read "Police Call Box" slowly appeared. Batman ducked into the shadows and watched as a man in a tweed jacket with a bowtie stepped outside of the blue box confused.

"No, no. This is all wrong," the man said, seemingly to the blue box itself.

"What the?" Batman growled under his breath.

The man wandered off toward the street and Batman took the opportunity to investigate. Swiftly he moved to the blue box and pushed the door open.

The inside of the blue box was not what he expected. It was bigger on the inside! It was a large room and on a platform was a hexagonal console with all sorts of gadgets attached to it. Batman couldn't imagine what purpose it could possibly hold. It had a typewriter and a gramophone on it! There was no way it all functioned as a whole. It defied logic… and science!

Batman heard the man returning to the box and quickly hid underneath the console.

"Gotham City? People here are not very friendly. Let's try again shall we," the man said.

Batman watched as the man messed with various gadgets and switches on the console and soon the box was making that whirring sound again. Batman decided to make his move and he snuck up behind the man who turned around quickly and saw him.

"Ah!" the man shouted in surprise.

The man frowned at Batman and said, "It's not polite to sneak up on people like that. Anyway, who are you and what are you doing in my TARDIS?" the man asked.

"Me? I'm the Batman!"

"The Batman? What do you mean you're the Batman?" the man asked, looking like he might laugh.

"What is this place? How is it bigger on the inside?" Batman asked.

"This is the TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimension in Space. I'm the Doctor," the man said.

"Doctor who?" Batman asked.

"Just 'The Doctor' will do fine, thank you. Now since you asked, this is a time machine. It can travel anywhere in time and space. It's bigger on the inside because it was created by my people, the Time Lords of Gallifrey."

"What are you doing in Gotham?" Batman asked.

"I'm not. Well, I was. But I'm not now! Now we're in Paris in the year 2150. I'm meeting a friend here," The Doctor replied with a smile.

" _What_? How is that possible?" Batman growled.

"Anywhere in time and space," The Doctor repeated looking annoyed.

"Show me!" Batman demanded.

"Blimey. Do you ever relax?" The Doctor asked.

"Why do you sound British if you are an alien?" Batman asked.

The Doctor stared at Batman for a moment then shrugged and opened the door to the TARDIS and stepped aside, allowing Batman to look out.

Batman couldn't believe his eyes. This was Paris... although... it was different than he remembered. He could see the Eiffel Tower but there were flying vehicles everywhere. The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS and locked the doors.

"Okay, I'm just going to pop into this cafe to say hello to my friend. You try and stay out of trouble. I'll be right back," The Doctor said.

"You have a date?" Batman asked.

"No, it's not a date. Well, at least I don't _think_ it is," The Doctor said, frowning then went inside the cafe.

People walked by the cafe and Batman tried to look casual, well as casual as a grown man wearing a dark-grey costume with a black, bat-eared cowl and matching cape could look in 22nd century Paris.

"Well hello, handsome," said an American voice from behind him.

"No, Jack!" The Doctor urged.

Batman swiftly turned around to find himself staring at a handsome blue eyed stranger with dark hair. He was about six feet tall and wore a long dark grey coat that opened up to a much lighter blue shirt beneath.

"Captain Jack Harkness," the handsome stranger said, stepping forward and extending a hand for Batman to shake.

Batman took the Captain's hand in one of his gloved ones and shook it, surprising himself.

"I'm-"

"You're Batman. I know all about you. Actually, I had a small stash of Batman comics before Torchwood Three…" Jack started but shook his head, seeming sad.

"You know about him? How come I don't know about him?" The Doctor asked.

"Not your fetish, I suppose," the Captain said with a wink to Batman.

Batman was thankful for his cowl as he was almost certain he was blushing. Dammit, why was this man so charming and attractive. He'd never been this flustered in his batsuit since Catwoman tried to flirt with him as a way of distraction prefer to pulled off a major jewelry heist.

"You say you're a captain… What are you captain of?" Batman asked, trying to seem casual but still intimidating.

"I can be captain of whatever you want me to be," the Captain replied.

Batman felt hot and uncomfortable. What the hell was going on here? Looking over at The Doctor, Batman realised that he looked far more uncomfortable.

"You two are seriously flirting?" The Doctor said, then threw his hands up.

Flirting? Batman didn't flirt. He was the Batman, for fucks sake!

"This suit really is tight and thick isn't it?" Jack asked, stepping forward and dragging a finger over Batman's chest.

Dammit, Batman, don't lose your composure, he thought, squirming internally.

"You cannot be serious. Fine, I'm going back to the TARDIS, Jack. When you are done with… whatever this is, please bring Batman back to the TARDIS so I can take him back to the 20th century," The Doctor said and beginning to walk away.

"You sure you won't join, Doctor?" the Captain asked.

The Doctor didn't reply, continuing to walk back to the TARDIS.

"Guess it's just you and me. What do you say we find a room?" Jack asked, his blue eyes and handsome smile looking so enticing.

Batman knew he shouldn't do this but… he was curious. And after all, being the Batman could be a lonely job.

"All right," Batman said and he followed Jack down the street.

A short time later, the Captain was leading Batman into his hotel room.

"So what's your story, Captain?" Batman asked as the Captain removed his coat, draping it over a chair.

"That's… a long story. And call me Jack. Can I call you Bruce?" the Captain said, walking back over to Batman.

Batman scowled.

"Just call me, Batman," he said.

"Fair enough," Jack said then chuckled.

Jack had a proud and giddy look on his face.

"Is this just a game to you? Am I just another fetish?" Batman asked.

Jack frowned and shook his head.

"Let's just say I understand you. You've got a lot of darkness and pain in your past and so do I," Jack said.

"I'm sorry," Batman replied.

"I lost someone very dear to me not long ago. His name was Ianto. I haven't been with anyone since then. But then I saw you standing outside the cafe. I felt something. I know I flirt with anyone and everyone who breathes… and even certain species that don't breathe, but really it's all about," Jack said and reached over placing a hand over Batman's heart.

"Connections," Jack said.

Oh, Dammit, Batman thought as he leaned down and pressed his lips into Jack's. Jack's hands grasped Batman's sides then slid around to clutch his ass beneath his cape. He could feel himself stiffening and realised that he just never designed his suit with erections in mind.

Batman's hands slipped under Jack's suspenders and slid them off. Batman realised there was no way he'd managed to unbutton Jack's shirt with his gloves on. He considered tearing it off but hesitated.

"Don't worry, I got it, big guy, "Jack said, slowly unbuttoning.

Jack removed his blue shirt revealing a white tank-top underneath which he tossed to the side. Batman reached down and undid Jack's belt, then unbuttoned his pants which he pulled down, along with his underwear, revealing Jack's hard, uncircumcised cock which he wrapped a gloved hand around.

"Careful, Bat. Don't want to pull it off," Jack said, then snickered before leaning up to a kiss again.

Jack's mouth was hot and eager. Bruce Wayne had kissed some of the hottest super models on the planet and none of them were ever as a good as this. Batman felt Jack grope his groin. Batman pulled away.

"I didn't design the suit with… this in mind," Batman said.

With some effort he removed his utility belt and managed to pull his codpiece off, revealing his long, thick cock.

"It's the bat-cock," Jack said then laughed before dropping to his knees, grasping Batman's cock in both hands, then pushing his mouth onto it and slowly sucking it.

"Oh. Oh god!" Batman growled.

Batman placed a hand on Jack's hair, wishing he could feel it through the gloves. He decided he needed to work on technology that could let his suit be more sensitive… when he wanted it to be. Oh, god, what was he thinking. Looking down at Jack Harkness he realised that only one thing mattered in this moment.

Jack sucked with enthusiasm and glee. Batman had never experienced anything like it. He growled in pleasure, amazed at how deep Jack could take him into his mouth. He wondered where else Jack could take him deeply.

"Jack, uh… can we?" Batman stammered, realising how ridiculous it seemed to politely ask someone if he could fuck them up the ass in his gravelly Batman voice.

Jack pulled his mouth off Batman's cock with a loud slurping sound.

"Don't suppose you have some a lube. Gonna need it if I'm gonna take this bad boy," Jack said, gesturing at the organ in question with his face.

"I… have something on my utility belt. It's for making bad guys slip and fall. It's… body safe," Batman admitted.

"You really do have some wonderful toys," Jack said then bent over the end of the bed, his ass pointed up.

Batman's mind raced with the realisation that some many of his tools that had been invented to fight crime could be used for sexual purposes by people with certain appetites.

Batman grabbed his belt and pressed a button in the direction of his cock, sending a stream of slippery fluid onto it. He stroked himself, rubbing it all over.

"Come on, bat. Give it to me!" Jack urged.

Batman marched over to Jack, positioning his cock over Jack's hole then gently pushed inside. Yes, he had to be gentle, not at all rough like he was with the villainous scum of Gotham City. Batman slowly pushed his cock inside of Jack Harkness as Jack let out a long moan that almost made Batman come right then and there.

"Fuck," Batman said, marveling at well the slippery fluid allowed him to ease inside of the Captain.

"There we go. Oh, that's nice," Jack said, sounding happy as Batman began to thrust deeply inside of him.

Batman clutched Jack's ass as he began to pound inside, his heavy, aching balls slapping into Jack's balls. Batman looked out the window. The sun was setting in 22nd century Paris and Batman was fucking a gorgeous man he only just met an hour ago in the ass. As far as days went Batman wasn't sure he'd had many this strange.

Jack was stroking himself furiously, arching his back and pushing his ass back against Batman's cock as he fucked. Jack was good at this. He had experience. Batman couldn't hold on.

"Oh. Oh goddammit," Batman growled then let out a sound that was some sort of a mix between pleasure and anger as he came hard in Jack's ass.

"Oh, wow, bat. You had a lot built up, didn't you," Jack said, still pushing himself back onto Batman.

Batman's body jerked as he continued to ejaculate. Yeah, this was a lot, he realised. There just wasn't always time for relief. Being Batman was a lot of work.

"OK. Your turn," Batman insisted.

"You don't have to tell me twice," Jack said, then rolled over onto the bed.

Batman crouched down and quickly took Jack's cock into his mouth, sucking fast and hard. Making sure the other person had an orgasm was the right thing to do and Batman always did the the right thing.

"God, I can't believe Batman is sucking my cock. I've lived a long time. I've seen the universe and died more times than I can count but-" Jack started.

"Wait, what?" Batman said pulling his mouth off Jack's cock.

"I'm immortal. Don't worry about it," Jack said.

Batman shrugged and went back to sucking Jack's cock. So he was immortal too. He was sucking the cock of some ancient immortal being. First time for everything, he supposed.

"Oh, yeah. Here it comes!" Jack said and Batman felt his body tense up as he moaned and hot, salty fluid poured onto Batman's tongue and down his throat.

Jack moaned and Batman wondered how he was going to get any sleep tonight after this. He'd have to have Alfred make him some hot cocoa or something.

* * *

"There the two of you are," The Doctor said as Batman and Jack Harkness stumbled into the TARDIS.

Batman was tired but felt more relaxed that he had in ages. He wondered if he would ever see Jack again. After they had cleaned up and gotten dressed he had been surprised when Jack gave him a kiss and told him it had been great. Batman felt it had been all too short. But he knew Gotham needed him.

He considered asking The Doctor just to leave him here in Paris for a year. He could take a break, enjoy his affair with Jack Harkness. But on the other hand, that would make him soft. He needed to remain hard and vigilant.

"Well, here we are. Gotham City, right where we left," The Doctor said then went and opened the door.

Batman sighed and walked to the door. He looked out. Everything looked the same. The police were even still dealing with the bank robbers.

"Hey," Jack said.

Batman turned back to face him.

"Goodbye," Jack said then walked over and gave him a kiss.

Batman pulled away and stepped towards the door. Not turning back he said, "If you're ever the area… feel free to stop by Wayne Manor. I'm sure Bruce Wayne would love to accommodate you."

**Author's Note:**

> Like what you read? Feel free to leave a kudos and comments are always appreciated. Consider subscribing to me or following [my blog on tumblr](http://pommedeplume.tumblr.com).


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